Fat, Fab, and Forty.

Why not?

My Story

Yoga and (Dis)Ability

Recently I took up yoga again. I have always enjoyed yoga, when I have been able to find welcoming, supportive contexts in which to practice. I have never gotten a regular practice going because, first, honestly it hasn’t been a major priority and, second, it is hard to find a studio and an instructor that […]

Cleaning House

Ordinarily, I have a houeskeeper. I have had a cleaning service since I was in graduate school, even though we were poor(ish) and couldn’t afford it. It was a priority among luxuries for me, because I like a clean home and I hate to clean. Not just hate it, but am bad at it. Even […]

ARFID rears its ugly head

I have eating disorders. Two, mainly. ARFID and Binge Eating Disorder [BED] (with occasional visits from the Anorexia and Bulimia fairies). It took me many, many years to acknowledge that I had an eating disorder at all. I thought I just ate too much. I thought it was because I was weak willed or addicted […]

Self-Image

When you close your eyes, how do you see yourself? Like most properly acculturated fat people, for my entire life, when I have closed my eyes and visualized myself, I have seen a “normal girl,”* maybe a little curvy but basically thin and fit and pretty. I feel that I am a pretty typical fat […]

Exercise

Is “exercise” a diet culture word? Is it “diet culture” to want to work out to the point of feeling some soreness the next day, to push yourself and want to develop strength and tone? I am not sure. My nutritionist often gives me push back for using words like “workout” and “exercise” and my […]

The New Normal

Finally, I feel like I am up to speed on a fairly good new routine. Here are some things I am doing: Being really careful about my morning routine, including showering, dressing, meditation, breakfast, and meds. Posting my outfit and makeup on Insta every day, as a way of making sure I really do get […]

Eating in Lockdown

Ok, I’m not really in “lockdown,” but we are under a “stay at home” order and I haven’t been out in days. And eating is hard. Or…too easy. For most of my adult life I have not fed myself. I eat a lot of takeout, restaurant food, fast food, prepared foods…you get the idea. So […]

Book Reviews

Book Review: “The Body is Not an Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor

The Power of Radical Self-Love I read this book for a different book club than White Fragility, but by coincidence of timing I read them back-to-back, which made for a fascinating juxtaposition. Both books share a core of radical anti-racism, and really anti-ism in general. Both books talk a good bit about the importance of […]

Book Review: White Fragility, by Robin DiAngelo

Why it’s so hard for white people to talk about racism. I read this book for a book club. I did not necessarily go into it with enthusiasm–more like puzzlement as I was only guessing what “White Fragility” is. Fascinating, fascinating book–real game changer. The premise of this book is that racism is a ubiquitous […]